One day, a friend of mine told me “I’m tired of chasing friends!”,it was a bit awkward to hear such term “Chasing friends”.It’s something you cannot control, it’s not like kindergarten anymore, you just can’t force people to be your friends, old days are over people!
Actually, she meant something else, a whole entire different thing, she meant those casual friends, who run into you once a month or you just wave at them in order to not make it more awkward later, we all have that type of friends, I didn’t really relate to chasing a total stranger to be my bestie, until she explained further, she wanted them to be more than those casual strangers, she want them to be her friends.
The idea itself is doable, making new friends isn’t that hard and ain’t a new thing for us, but the idea of getting close to new friends, especially a group of new friends, the idea of squeezing yourself within the group isn’t always an acceptable idea by them, not because they hate you or they marked their territory and you’re from the enemy side and you’re not allowed in, or even having their annual barbecue fiesta and you’re not invited in, it’s not gossip girl here, that’s for sure!, it’s way simpler than this.
Let’s just think for a while here, to understand their acceptance or rejection of your live pending friend request; you just need to put yourself in their shoes for an instance, a new member in the group.
We only have met her a couple of times, she doesn’t know most of us, and we don’t like awkward outsiders? maybe yes, maybe no, but sometimes her attitude isn’t that good, not polite enough and making us awkward?, ohh sorry dear, let’s stay casual please 🙂
That was one scenario, another one is that they are really close with each other and they don’t want an outsider, or let me rephrase it in a more soothing way; they are family now, and it would take ages for you to have such label with them, and yes I have to agree with them in this point.
Sometimes it has nothing to do with you, you ain’t doing a bad thing, it’s within that particular group that you’re requesting their friendship, and sometimes, it’s because of your behaviors, your actions, that make people rebel, make them feel irritated whenever you walk into the room, it’s all about you this time, and as long as you don’t eventually see that, you’ll be stuck in that Friends loop, nothing to do but repeating the same exact steps and the problem is in you…No outsiders included.